Why does some people asking me if I have a girlfriend? I don’t even know why I can’t answer that same question to myself? Ridiculous. =/ I felt like I’m a nobody when I swim alone in the sea of many faces. Sometimes when I look a pair of love birds in some places I go, it just made me feel awkward. I ask myself, when will the time cupid find me a match which is very much compatible to me. A girl partner that understand and accepts me for who I am, love my family and in turn loved by them, and someone that would be my companion when we got older. Will I ever get to experience sex? HaHa! Kidding?! Will I ever have the chance to have my own family?
Priorities. Love has been listed last on my priority list. I have so many things to achieve, and on top of it, to have a successful career in the path destined to me by God, He had chosen me for this… to be a competent health care provider. And to be able to attain that, love must be the last to accomplish. Or maybe, faith, that it will happen.
Maybe true love is against for someone like me, geek, dork and fugly. The bad habit I usually do in the name of ‘love’ is that, I forget to leave a high amount of it just to be insured when somebody hurts me. what do I mean by this, well, I am proud to say that I am a giver of love to those who are very deserving to receive it. I will do all in my power to make that person feel happy and special. The worst part is, I don’t care about myself. I sometimes forgot to love ‘myself’ just to make others loved by me. I didn’t think of sharing the word ‘LOVE’ in my own self. CRAP.
Some say that ‘there is a time for anything…’ perhaps love might somehow reward to me when I’m ready to deal for things like that, for mature ones. I think there is something I have to overcome first and learn from that leap before commitment comes in my way. Well, I hoping for the best, I have to… again… FAITH. 🙂